As you can see, I’m surrounded by sweetness. All comrades are envying me, they are looking for eurobond money to quickly do surgeries so that they resemble me. In fact some are now jealous and they want to cut my legs, so that I remain shorter.
As a firm believer in Canaan and its goodies, I am not blaming them because I had said time and time again that being short and beautiful is a blessing to me.
Canaan is real and it is coming right at us. For once I had even forgotten but the number of ladies writing me love messages reminded me that this journey is now a stark reality.
But why are they fighting to be with me or around my shadow?
In Canaan, I am listed as a person with disability and also a person with extra abilities. Both of which have immense benefits.
As a person with disabilities, I cannot see as far as tall people can see so they end up seeing beautiful ladies coming from far before I do. They can also see the Egyptian anti riot police and GSU coming and start running. To rectify this, the Canaan government has promised to give me a three bedroom house in the Canaan apartments in the top most floor. (the only floor with free and strong Wi-Fi)
As a person with extra abilities, though I am short, my mind is not short. I am very sharp and my eyes are focused. Focused that all ladies smile on seeing them. As you already know, I can run faster than anyone and I am also very effective in those matter. Those ones that make ladies cry in happiness. To this effect, the Canaan government promised to make me a youth counsellor on relationship matters and also a motivational speaker, with very fat and delicious allowances and benefits.
So, if your sister or girlfriend starts mentioning me in her dreams or makes plans to disappear and come looking for me at my polling station (bus station to Canaan), my friend don’t blame her. Instead thank God. She will be very safe and well treated in Canaan. The land of honey and hot milk.
And, I will not disappoint any. Those who come to me will all be served accordingly.
Augus Nyakwar Ogao Owich.
Bishop of Height
Canaan Senior Steward and Counsellor.