I must admit, though many wouldn’t dare do so, that I first encountered Nescafe in the university, quite strange to some level.
Not that I had grown up in an upcountry set up, but the special part of Nairobi that had brought me up is a world on its own.
So this good day that I took the one hour lift to the University, it was now the real Nairobi, the real Nairobi blessed me with Nescafe and something else. Was it a blessing ?
I was a lucky “fresher”, having chanced upon a distant lady cousin, in her final year and quickly enough, the invitation to visit her room came. Blessed me, I put on my best, by the then standards, and went.
The blessed hyenic me, finding her friend in her room couldn’t be much better and I sat directly opposite her. Of course I had ensured my tummy wasn’t diluted by unnecessary fill ups hoping for an African reception, which came through in the form of hot water, sugar and this delicious looking stuff which turned out to be Nescafe.
All this while, her friend (Lady X) pretended not to, but was deliciously staring at me. Her refuge was her three layered make up, which hid her eyes making her look like a pregnant camel’s left knee. To compensate her overdone eyes and brows, her lips looked luscious and for a moment and I was in my own world, trying to capture the real imagination of what it would feel like, mine getting into contact with hers, lippy business.
As my salivating aggressive self was imagining the wet lands yonder, Satan’s wife was using hunger to overwork. Without permission, my hands were on the Nescafe tin, directing the contents into my cup.
Somewhere along the way, something happened. Either my fantasizing reached its peak, or my taste senses got a shock, but I got back to reality.
Lady X was all laughter, the expression on my face notwithstanding. The bitter liquid now before me wasn’t helping at all. The formerly delicious looking Nescafe was now bitter, stinging more than pepper.
The said lady X must have laughed so passionately that my mind was made up to seduce her.
That was three years back, and today, seated facing these three ladies who all show potential of being female hyenas in a restaurant, I’m suddenly alert,
Away from my mind wandering, the ugliest of the three has just piled the sixth spoonful of Nescafe into her cup. Whatever will happen, I’ll not laugh but I know I won’t be seduced, even if Nescafe pushes her to try.
If you see lady X, buy her a Nescafe drink and send me the bill.
The writing is purely fictitious and for entertainment purposes. Any similarity in character and liking for excess Nescafe, not forgetting the attraction to ugliness where be, is regrettably coincidental.
The writer will not be held liable for any failed seduction based on Nescafe.